Keeping Your Sanity During This Batshit Election Cycle: A Brief Reading List

I originally published this back in March, but I just found a typo I'd missed and had to fix. Author OCD. Heh. So that's with this is now out of date. Sorry.

So, once again, we are in the thick of an absolutely insane election cycle, when we’re all sitting here watching our country’s whacko primary process to determine what our two choices are going to be for the next President of these United States. Now, normally I make it a point to try and not get too much into poitics online. It rarely goes well, people’s feelings get hurt, and usually, no one changes their opinion. This post isn’t about that. It’s not about any specific set of political leanings, it’s not about showing a preference to one particular candidate over the other. This would be more of a poitically ecumenical post, it could appeal whether you are feeling the Bern, planning to Choose Cruz, or even *SHUDDER* Make America Great Again. Hmmm. I guess I did give a little bit of a clue as to my own political leanings there, huh? Sorry. I promise, no more of that for the rest of this post. Well, I’ll try anyway. Like I said, this post isn’t about a particular political stance. Basically, if you’ve been paying attention to the election at all, you can see that for the most part, this has been without a doubt, one of the most batshit insane elections we’ve ever experienced in this country. I mean, you couldn’t write a show like this, no producer anywhere would let you make it. So, whatever your political leanings might be, I’d guess that there’s a pretty good chance that you’re feeling like your sanity’s taken a bit of a beating during the hustings of the last few months, and let’s be honest, it’s not going to get any better from here on out. I mean hell, if the front-running GOP candidates can turn a debate about becoming the next President of the United States into a literal penis-measuring contest, I’d say we’ve got exactly two chances for this election to turn around and settle down into something sane; Jack, and shit. And Jack just left town.

Anyway, like I said, your brain’s probably taken a beating from watching all these shenanigans, so I’m here to recommend three works of quality literature that I think might just help you keep what sanity you do possess. Two of them are works of total fiction, and the last is MOSTLY factual. Hehe. Anyway, we’ll start off with the fiction. And just so you know, these are only in the order in which I thought of them. They’re all fantastic.

Orange Crush by Tim Dorsey

Tim Dorsey writes books that are similar in tone to Carl Hiassen. Pretty much all of Hiassen’s books could be titled the same thing: “Weird Shit Happens in Florida”. Well, Dorsey fits this kind of vein very well. Much like Hiassen, Dorsey’s books could also all be called the same thing. It would even be a similar title, but Dorsey’s books could pretty much all be called “Weird Shit Happens in Florida, With an Extreme Florida-Phile Serial Killer Who Targets Jerks”. Orange Crush departs from the formula a bit, but there are still plenty of weird goings-on, and the madness is pretty much all focused on the Florida governor’s race. Check out the back blurb:

The Republicans' "golden boy" -- and a loyal, unquestioning tool of the powerful special interests -- handsome, unthreatening, Florida governor-by-default Marlon Conrad seems a virtual shoo-in for re-election. That is, until he undergoes a radical personality shift during a bloody military action in the Balkans. Now it's just three weeks before the election and Marlon is suddenly talking about "issues" and "reform" as he crosses the length and breadth of his home state with an amnesiac speechwriter and a chief of staff who turns catatonic in the presence of minorities. The governor's new-found conscience might well cost him the election, though. And it appears that pretty much everybody from Tallahassee to Miami Beach is trying to kill him...

And that about tells you everything you need to know. This is a newer edition to my Keep Sane During Elections Reading List, but I don’t hesitate to recommend it. The entire governor’s race in the book is pretty nutty, but you just may find yourself wishing that you could actually vote for Marlon in real life. I know I’ve wanted to that a few times over the last few months.

Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis and, Darick Robertson

Transmetropolitan, or Transmet, as many of the cool kids call it, is a fantastic comic book. Instead of the usual superheroes and supervillains, the comic focuses on the struggle between our hero, intrepid, drunk and drugged-out investigative reporter Spider Jerusalem, who is basically the somewhat distant future’s version of Hunter S. Thompson and two insane and insanely corrupt Presidents of the United States, first, The Beast, who is basically Future Nixon, and then, Gary Callahan, or The Smiler who looks like a cross between Tony Blair and The Joker. Though he acts a lot more like The Joker. The comic is all about Spider, who when the story begins is happily living up a mountain in isolation, but has to return to The City to write two more books for his old editor or get sued, haunting the streets in search of The Truth, armed only with his fists, his Filthy Assistants, Channon and Yelena, his wits, and his illegal Bowel Disruptor(and yes, that’s a gun that does exactly what you’re probably thinking it does). 

Spider tackles all kinds of subjects throughout the course of the series’ 60-issue run; things ranging from prejudice, religion, corrupt police, the bizarre City of the future trying to hang on to pieces of the past, and especially politics. The series is at its best when Spider is going against The Smiler and trying to bring down his presidency with the power of journalism. Vol. 3: Year of the Bastard is where this is especially in evidence. This is the PERFECT series to read during this political season, because things in the comic are possibly even more insane than what we’ve all been watching for the last several months. I’m not sure though, I’m going to have to give the series another look, because I think this may indeed be a case of reality being stranger than fiction. Anyway, the series finished its run a few years ago, and all the issues are collected into trade paperbacks, or a couple of DC Absolute editions if you feel like shelling out the ducats. It’s absolutely worth it though.

Finally, we leave the world of fiction and come to…

Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72 by Hunter S. Thompson

It may seem out of date, considering that this book is more than 40 years old at this point, but honestly, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better book on an election anywhere, no matter when it was written. Forget Game Change, forget any of the drivel written by Ann Coulter, this is the election book you want to read. Written by the late, great Hunter S. Thompson of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas fame, the book covers Thompson’s experiences covering the 1972 Presidential election between Richard Nixon and George McGovern, and he really manages to capture the insanity of an election in his trademarked Gonzo journalism style. Once again, check out the back cover blurb:

From the legendary journalist and creator of “Gonzo” journalism Hunter S. Thompson comes the bestselling critical look at Nixon and McGovern’s 1972 presidential election.

Forty years after its original publication, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72 remains a cornerstone of American political journalism and one of the bestselling campaign books of all time. Hunter S. Thompson’s searing account of the battle for the 1972 presidency—from the Democratic primaries to the eventual showdown between George McGovern and Richard Nixon—is infused with the characteristic wit, intensity, and emotional engagement that made Thompson “the flamboyant apostle and avatar of gonzo journalism” (The New York Times). Hilarious, terrifying, insightful, and compulsively readable, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72 is an epic political adventure that captures the feel of the American democratic process better than any other book ever written

I’m telling you, if you only read one book on this list, you should read this one. Then, you should honestly go out and read the rest of his work because you really can’t go wrong. Yes, a lot of references to drugs, alcohol and a LOT of bad language, but dig down a bit if that kind of thing bothers you and look at what he was saying underneath all that. Honestly, I’m really disappointed that Thompson is no longer with us, because I’d love to hear his thoughts on these current shenanigans we’re going through. Honestly, if the last few months are any indication, if he was still around, I’d imagine that Hunter could have gotten another great book out of it; Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail 2016. Especially all this Trump nonsense. I think that was right up Hunter’s alley and he would have gone to TOWN on The Donald. Ah well, a man can dream.

So there you have it, dear readers. A short list of a few things that may just help keep you from going completely out of your skull this election. Hope this list is helpful, and that just maybe, you find something new that you really enjoyed reading. All the cover images I've used here are of course copyright by their respective publishers, and all of these books are available online, or from your local seller of quality tomes. hehe. And lastly, no matter what side of the aisle you come down on, when the time comes, be sure to get out there and vote. If for no other reason, than to retain full rights to complain about things when they don’t go your way. Hehe.

Carry on smartly, my friends.