Review of Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames: One Does Not Simply Rock Into Mordor

Kings of the Wyld is the debut fantasy novel by Nicholas Eames, and it's awesome. In the universe of Kings of the Wyld, mercenary bands share the same status that rock stars have in our world. The story focuses on one of the most legendary merc bands of all time, Saga. When the story opens, Clay Cooper, one of the members of Saga is living a quiet life, settled down in the town of Coverdale with his wife and daughter. Out of nowhere, Clay's old bandmate Gage shows up begging for Clay's help. Gabe wants Clay to come with him to try and save Gabe's daughter Rose, who is trapped in a city on the other side of the nightmare forest, the Heartwyld by a gigantic horde of monsters. Initially reluctant, Clay agrees to go with Gabe and try to help, but first they're going to have to go and try to track down the other members of Saga if they're going to have any chance of getting through the Heartwyld and rescung Rose. It's time to get the band back together.

Kings of he Wyld is a great breath of fresh air in a time when so much fantasy seems to be of the more "realistic" or "Grimdark" bent. KoW is definitely not in that vein at all. The more rock and roll feel of the book is a nice change of pace. The overall story is a fairly standard, "Small, elite group tries to accomplish a seemingly impossible goal" storyline, but Nicholas Eames tells it wonderfully and shows that even something that could be considered a "trope" can be extremely enjoyable when it's put in the hands of a capable storyteller. Besides the fantastic action sequences all throughout the book, dialogue and the characters is what will really keep you engaged and reading. And KoW is chock full of great characters. Not just he main members of Saga, but many of the backup characters like Jaine and the Silk Arrows, Larkspur, Gregor and Dane, and even the book's main villain Lastleaf, and there are many more. Also, a great thing about the book is the fact that Eames has taken pretty much any monster a DnD fan could want to see and thrown it in here just for the fun of it. Plus, Owlbears. Yes, there are multiple Owlbear references in this book. That alone, in my less than humble opinion should win Nick Eames some kind of award.

Kings of the Wyld is simply, from first page to last, an awesome story. It's great to be reminded that a fantasy story doesn't HAVE to be realistic. Kings of the Wyld definitely isn't. There are Deus Ex Machinas and magical cheats peppered liberally throughout the book. To be honest, I'm a little surprised that Gabe, Clay or any of the other characters didn't use some fnatasy novel version of the Contra Code to get something done. Don't take that as a criticism. Sometimes fun is just fun, and a fantasy novel doesn't have to be serious and dour. One of the best things about Kings of the Wyld is the very fact that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It's almost like reading a transcript of a great DnD session with your nerdy friends and that's spectacular.

Kings of the Wyld. The Boys are back in town. Go see 'em.

\m/\m/\m/\m/\m/
5 Metal Hands out of 5.

Writer Problems: When Ideas Won't Shut Up

So, I now have the Blogger app on my phone. I forsee problems with this. Well, maybe not problems so much as an increased productivity here in my little corner of the Blog-o-sphere(that's good!), but perhaps a bit of a decrease in my productivity at my 9 to 5(that's bad!). Well, maybe If I promise really REALLY seriously to myself, honest to goodness, nofoolin' to only blog when things are slow. Yeah, I'm sure that will work out. Totally. Hehe.

Anyway, today's little ramble is on a topic I'm sure several writers have experienced. One that does happen to me from time to time, the idea that just won't shut up. Yeah, I know. I can hear you other writers out there. "Oh poor YOU! You have an idea that actually wants you to work on it! How terrible!" Believe me, I'm not angling for sympathy here. I guess I just felt like addressing the phenomenon, because it seems like a largely writer exclusive brain issue. Anyway, here's what's going on in my weird writer brain.

Awhile back, I had an idea for what I refer to as a Rollicking Steampunk Adventure Tale, basically a story about, let's call it Sky Pirates of the Caribbean. Or, I should say that I had a beginning scene, but that was about it. I wracked my brain for awhile, trying to figure out what the story actually was, but I just couldn't crack it. So, I put it on the back burner, figuring I'd get back to it at some point and focused on other things. Well yesterday, out of nowhere, I figured out what the story is. While that's great, the idea has been somewhat rude, diving in front of my other ideas and DEMANDED my attention.  Again, not necessarily a bad thing. I can get back to work on a story I want to write, and the thing requires some research on Caribbean Pirates. Or at least that's the excuse I'm using to read Under the Black Flag by David Cordingly, which I've wanted to read for awhile(Hey! Research! Heh) and to play Assassins Creed: Black Flag. Because, you know, style research is important. Come to think of it, I should probably re-watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie too. You can never have too much style research, after all. Hehe.

So my question is this, to my other writer friends. How do you react when an idea gets uppity like this? Do you take my approach and spoil your idea rotten by giving it all the attention it demands, or are you able to tell your idea, "NO! Naighty idea! You sit there and wait your turn!" Or do you go a third way? Let me know in the comments if you're so inclined. Either way, happy writing! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go help Edward Kenway plunder a Spanish ship. Style research. Hehe.

Carry On Smartly, My Friends.

O Captain! My Captain! Please Come Back, We Need You Now More Than Ever...

The other day over on my Book of Faces, I said that I was going to try and cool it with the political posts. I tried, I really did, but I guess what's been said is true. Politics is like Malaria. Once you've been infected, even if you have a period of remission, you're always going to get re-infected. And it's true. I wanted to keep politics off of this little corner of the internet as much as possible, but I just can't help myself. But at least it's not going to be me ranting about the horrible Shit-Capade that is our current election cycle. Yes, we just finished up what has to be the most odious Republican National Convention in living memory, or at least the worst one since I first became infected with politics. And we've got the Democratic National Convention about to kick off on Monday. Most likely, that will be a circus as well. But anyway, as I said, you're not going to have to read my semi-coherent ramblings on the state of this election. No, I'm going to leave that to a true master, but more on that in a minute.

The landscape of journalism as changed dramatically in the last couple of decades, both in print and on TV. There are no Edward R. Murrows, Walter Cronkites, no H.L. Menckens, no Woodward and Bernsteins, and no Hunter S. Thompsons. And it's a real tragic shame because we need people like them now more than we ever have. The only real bastion left it seems for their kind of fire is the world of Political Satire. Now don't get me wrong, John Oliver, Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, Larry Wilmore, and Trevor Noah are great, and they're doing great things. But the man that, in a way, "trained" all of them, their Jedi Master, if you will(See? I brought it back to nerdishness for a sec) has been sadly absent for the last year. And I think that the timing of that fact was unfortunately the worst it could have been, considering what's been going on in the election for the last year.

Well, on Thursday night for 10 glorious minutes, the Master Skywalker(did it again!) of Political Satire returned. After the end of the RNC, Jon Stewart popped up and took over Stephen Colbert's desk on The Late Show and proceeded to show us that even after a year of retirement, he is still the master. Stewart unleashed a blistering attack on Fox News and The Republican Party for their shamelessly hypocritical lauding of Donald Trump for the exact same reasons they claimed to despise President Barack Obama. I won't even bother to try and quote it, Stewart is much better in his own words than I could ever be. If you haven't seen it yet, by all means watch the clip HERE, bask in the awesomeness and fondly remember that time when the sight of a man sitting at a desk scribbling on blue paper struck terror into jackasses on both sides of the aisle.

As awesome as it was, the segment was bittersweet too, because it was most likely a one-time thing. But I'm really hoping that it's not. While I would wish that Stewart would be able to relax and enjoy his retirement, I have a feeling that what's going on has a good chance of driving him back to the desk. We can only speculate on what would be going on if Stewart had been here this whole time. Personally, I'm hoping he would have given Trump a heart-attack by now, or at least an attack in whatever that pump thing is that moves the black sludge through his veins.

Ah, what could have been. But seriously, as great as all of his "Padawans" are, we need Stewart back, at least until the election is done, and the segment on the Late Show showed us exactly why. No one articulates Political Outrage like Jon, and maybe, just maybe, it could shake some people out of their complacency and get them to wake up. We can only dream.

But it's a good dream, and one I'm going to partake in. So, for now, I will just say, O Captain! My Captain! We need you, please come back to us. We'll keep a seat at the desk ready for you.

-Carry On Smartly, My Friends.

Some Thoughts on Ghostbusters 2016: I Ain't 'Fraid of No Reboot...

Ok, I’ll admit that once again, I’m baffled by some ridiculous nonsense that people are doing. Yeah, yeah, I know. Still, it’s puzzling me and really getting on my nerves so I figured that I’d run off at the fingers about it a bit if for no other reason than to get it the hell out of my head. Our topic today? The new Ghostbusters movie. Honestly, I just do NOT get why this thing is getting all the hate it’s getting. Do I think it’s going to be as good as the originals? No, I don’t. Do I think it’s going to suck? Well, maybe, that’s a definite possibility. However, based on what I’ve been hearing from people, that’s not the case at all. Now, I haven’t gotten the chance to see it yet, though I’m sure I will at some point, so as usual, I’m reserving my final judgement until I do. But I will say that at this point, I don’t have any hate for the movie. I don’t have any hate for it as an older geek who prefers the Old Skool to the new, and I DEFINITELY don’t have any hate for it because I’m a guy and the main characters are women. We’ll get into both of those types of hate in a minute and why I think that they’re absolutely re-freakin-diculous. But first, let’s address the third and most odious kind of hate suddenly associated with this movie. The Leslie Jones question.

Now, I’m sure you’ve probably heard earlier today about how Leslie quit Twitter because of all the racist bullshit she was getting bombarded with on there. Yet again, ignorant mouthbreathers have struck and caused a legitimately funny woman to have to distance herself from something so that she’s not being waylaid by jackassery every minute of the day. I don’t have a lot to say about this particular kind of hate because, really what else is there to say about it other than the fact that if you are one of the racist assholes that drove her off Twitter, or if you’re simply a racist asshole in general, at this point I would like to cordially and respectfully invite you to go somewhere quite far away and feel free to roughly fornicate yourself with an iron stick. Go ahead, do it now. Seriously, go. We’re trying to have a civilization here, and you are all surplus to requirements.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into the other two typed of hate the new Ghostbusters reboot is getting. First off, the geek hate. Yeah, it’s just as dumb as the women and racist hating, but I can at least understand this one a little bit. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t condone, but I kinda get it. Whenever a beloved franchise that’s been dormant for a time gets more chapters or a dreaded “Reboot”, it can cause a mixed bag of emotions, especially for geeks, as I’ve noticed with myself and others that certain movies, certain books, certain franchises are building blocks and load-bearing pillars for our future selves.  But on the one hand, there’s a part of you that really excited to see more of, or a fresh take on something that you loved. But then, of course, there’s also the part of you that gets afraid that the new installments or the reboots will “Ruin your childhood”.

I’ll admit that I’ve said that a couple of times, but when I really sat down and thought about I realized that that’s one of the dumbest things said in the long, sad history of dumb things that got said. News flash, kids. The new Ghostbusters is not going to ruin your childhood, and neither is any other new interpretation, addition or reboot of a movie or TV show you loved as a kid. Your childhood is done. It’s in the past. It’s safely locked away in your personal history. The only way that anything can ruin your childhood is if you allow it to happen. It can’t take away what you felt when you watched the original Ghostbusters. That was over 30 years ago. It can’t touch those memories. Those memories are yours, they’re a part of you, and the only way that they can change is if YOU allow them to change and you change them.

Now, do I think that the new Ghostbusters has the potential to be crap? Sure. It’s a reboot, and statistically speaking, reboots tend to be awful, very pale imitations of the original. But from what I’ve been hearing from people I know whose opinions I trust, it’s a lot of fun. Hell, a friend of mine who’s possibly the biggest Ghostbusters freak on the planet gave it a 4 star review, which to me is a pretty ringing endorsement. Based on that, I’m a good deal easier in my mind. So will I see it? Yeah, at some point I’m sure I will. Will I go see it in the theater? Probably not, but that has more to do with the fact that I’m cheap and don’t want to spend 10 bucks to see a movie when I can wait and spend around 2 bucks for it at Redbox and watch it in the comfort of my own home where I don’t have to take out a loan to pay for popcorn, a drink and some candy. Heh. But yeah, I’m sure that at some point I will see it. It might be bad, and if it is, I’ll just go and watch the original Ghostbusters. I might register my opinion that I didn’t like it, but I doubt I’m going to hate on it unless it’s truly terrible. And in that case, I’ll be complaining that the movie was bad, but not that it “Ruined my childhood”, and I certainly won’t be griping about the fact that I hated it because I’m a guy and I’m threated for some ridiculous reason by a movie with 4 female main characters like the Mens’ Rights/Nouveau Masculinism fuckrumpets(pardon the language), and that brings us on to the final stop on our tour of dumbass reasons to hate the new Ghosbusters.

Now, right from the get go, I’ll freely state that I have ABSOUTELY no patience at all for the MR jackasses, and I think that their arguments for why movies starring and focusing on women are complete and utter 100% USDA Grade A Bull Cookies. Let’s not forget that these are the same idiots that said that Mad Max: Fury Road was going to be terrible because it was “too feminist”. Probably mainly because Imperator Furiosa was liberating Immortan Joe’s harem of slave wives/breeders, and they probably didn’t want to see what is probably one of their biggest, most lizard-brained juvenile fantasies spoiled for them on the big screen. Well, witness me, Mens’ Rights idiots, Fury Road was fantastic. I watch, I don’t watch, I watch again!

Anyway, these ignoramuses are back again, honking on about how “Ghostbusters will be RUINED because vagina!!!” I just don’t get why these guys get so fucked off and butt-blasted about movies prominently focused on or mainly starring women. Honestly guys, what the hell are you so afraid of? Is the vagina really THAT scary? What, do you think that you’re going to get bewitched by some kind of strange feminist vagina sorcery, or Vagimancy if you will? I can promise you guys that it’s not going to happen. It’s ok, you can look at the girls. They’re not some kind of weird femal Ark of the Covenant, and they won’t melt your face with Vagimancy, even though you probably deserve it. And even if you were to be ensnared and bewitched with the Vagimancy, is that really such a bad thing, little boys? I mean, I thought as straight guys that we’re supposed to really LIKE that particular section of the female anatomy. Hell, I know that I do. But then, I’m obviously a hopeless thrall to Vagimancy. Oh well. But if you’re going to be, as I said before, that fucked off and butt-blasted about it, then it’s ok. You don’t have to go see the scary girl movie. Go down the hall to Theater 6, there’s a new Bourne movie in there. You’ll be fine. Super-swear, dumbasses.

So yeah, whether you subscribe to the Ruined Childhood fear, or the dark, gripping dread of Vagimancy, then your solution is very simple. Just don’t go and see the damn thing in the first place. I’m relatively certain there’s something else that you can be doing that you’ll probably find more satisfying. And if you are going to blast the film, here’s a crazy idea. How about you actually wait to do that until after you’ve actually SEEN it, instead of just assuming with no real evidence that it’s going to suck and getting up on your soapbox and shaking your tiny fists of rage about something when you actually don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Oh, no wait, never mind. That was an actual logical suggestion, and this is the internet, where there’s absolutely NO place for logic. Sorry, must have lost my head there for a minute. Forget everything I just said. Sorry to have wasted your time.

Carry on smartly, my friends. 

Don't Hail HYDRA-Cap, Hashbrown, NotMyCaptain...

By now, you've probably heard about the big ERMAHHGEHRD thing that Marvel dropped today. Captain America, as it turns out, has been a HYDRA double agent the whole time, since he was a kid, actually, and being a Good Guy has been a really, REALLY long con. Many of you are probably Nerd Raging right now, or are sunk on the floor wailing and gnashing your teeth.

So at the risk of being redundant, I figured I'd share my feelings on this whole Captain America shenanigan that exploded on the intarwebz today. I'll say straight off the bat that here there be spoilers. Fairly warned be ye, says I.

So, I went over to my local purveyor of funny books because I did want to take a look at Steve Rogers: Captain America #1. No, I didn't buy it, I didn't give it a full read. I pretty much just flipped to the last few pages to read The Twist. So there's a captured scientist who I assume worked for HYDRA and Jack Flag was supposed to be off supporting another hero, Cap told him to do that, but he decide Cap needed help. Cap says he regrets that Jack did that, then proceeds to throw him out of the plane they're in, presumably killing him before turning to the scientist and saying Hail HYDRA. There's a comics voiceover going on too, but I don't know if it was Cap, or someone else or what. Honestly, I didn't care that much. I still don't. And what I mean is, I don't care to know the story. After reading that, I put the issue back, shook my head and went and bought an issue of Howard the Duck and 2 issues of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and stoke myself up into a frothing nerd rage about this. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't like it. I've always really liked Captain America, and one of the things I liked the most was that unlike pretty much every other Marvel Character, he wasn't carrying around steamer trunks full of emotional baggage. He was a hero because he's a good guy at his most basic level. He wants to help, he wants to save people. Now to have Marvel tell me, "Nope, he's been a bad guy the WHOLE time, just fuckin with ya!" Well, to me that just feels like a giant middle finger. A gimmick that they're doing because they think that Captain America needs to go "Dark" to stay relevant. Yeah, don't think so, House of Ideas. This is a DUMB idea.

Like I said, I'm not going to beat my fists, I'm not going to stoke myself up into a towering nerd rage, and I'm not going to say "BLEAARRRRGH!! ME BOYCOTT MARVEL FOREVER!" Nah. I mean, I probably won't be reading any more Captain America any time soon, at least not Steve Rogers because I just think that this is a damn stupid idea. Yeah, I can see how people are pissed about this. Like I said, I don't like it either. But my feeling is, instead of raging on the internet, just vote with your dollars. Stop talking about it, stop freaking out, stop buying it. And if you really hate the idea of HYDRACap, don't worry too much. If this storyline remains this reviled and hated, it looks like Marvel's next universe reboot is only a few short months away. So yeah, just ignore it for now, True Believers, and I'd say it's got a good chance of going away before too long.

Carry on smartly, Dear Friends.

The Adventures of Nerd Boy and Geek Girl...

My last post in here still has me thinking about male and female realtions. No, this isn't what this blog is always going to be about, it's just the subject that's occupying my head space right now. I'm sure that tomorrow I'll be on to something else. Like wanting to talk about The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl or something like that. Hehe.
Anyway, like I said, I've spent the last couple of days thinking about the ways that guys and girls react to each other. This was touched off of course by the idiot male backlash to the Rogue One trailer where these creampuff milquetoast idiot men and Men's Rights advocates(By the way, one of the STUPIDEST "causes" in existence, but that's a rant for another time), were reacting to another Star Wars movie that had a strong female lead. Well, probably at least 2 if you count both Jyn and Mon Mothma. Anyway, not going to rehash that, you can read the last post if you want to see what I've said about that.

But once I closed the books on that particular rant, I found myself over the last couple of days thinking about relationships, and about what kind of head space you have to be in to get to the point where as a man, you're somehow "threatened" by a strong female, or become like one of the assholes I see on the Maury Povitch show who want to abuse and dominate their wives and girlfriends. Oh, and quick aside, yes I just mentioned the Maury show and I can see you shaking your heads. Quick explanation, I work at a TV station, where it's my job to make sure that the right things go on the air. Sadly, one of those things is Maury, so I have to see it every day. Yep. That's my life. I'll go into more detail in the future, since I have a whole rant about Maury, Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos(all of which I have to at least pay some attention to for my job. Yeesh). But I digress.

I was talking about the types of guys who are actively angry about Jyn being a strong woman in Rogue One. I was thinking about the type of head space you'd have to live in to feel that way, and I realized that while yeah, I still had contempt for, and vehemently disagreed with those guys, I found myself feeling bad for them. I feel bad for them because after a good deal of thought the last couple of days, I realized that their lives must be not very awesome. Having gone through non-awesome times myself a lot through my life I can sympathize. Maybe these guys have had bad relationships or interactions with women. Certainly does happen, but it seems that the way they're reacting to it is to want to keep geekdom a Dudes Only sort of club, and I think that's just completely wrong. Geekdom should NOT be a Men Only club. But some of these guys seem to think that letting girls in is somehow going to wreck it, or make it lame or something, and to be honest, I don't get that, because I think about the relationship that I'm in right now with someone who is, I guess you could say, less experienced of a geek than I am. She came to it later in life than most geeks do.

Some background. My girlfriend, I'll call her Willow to protect the innocent. heh. Anyway, Willow and I don't have what I'd say is the most "traditional" of relationships. I mean, we love each other and enjoy spending time with each other but there aren't really gender roles in our house. At least not about who does the dishes or who cooks dinner and does chores and things like that.. Either one of us might do that, although to be honest, I do the dishes a lot more often than I cook because hey, doing the dishes never really changes, and cooking does. I do cook from time to time, but Willow's scorecard is WAY ahead of mine because my Cook Fu is very limited. Yeah, I don't have a lot of range. But hey, if Willow wants spaghetti or Chicken and Long Grain and Wild Rice she knows to hit the phone and say "Hey good lookin, get cookin!" Well, ok, she doesn't say that word for word, but, you know, that's basically what she says. Hehe.

Anyway, to keep going, Willow and I share things, chores lilke I mentioned, sometimes she'll drive, sometimes I'll drive. Sometimes she'll pay when we're out, sometimes I will. Nobody has a set role because we're a team. We're a partnership, and that's the way it should be. That should be how everyone is with their significant other. At least that's what I think. You are on a team. Backup your team mate, and you will in turn get backed up by her or him. And I have to tell you, that feels great.

Now you might be thinking that I wrote that last section just so I could brag on my girlfriend for a minute. *GASP* How DARE you?! I most certainly DID!

Anyway, the point I was getting to was to show that Willow and I are on equal grounds because she's a strong woman, and perfectly capable of getting along without my help in most areas. Now we come to the area where I'm way more leveled up than she is. Geekdom in general. I'm in my 40s now, and I've been a geek since way back in the day. First movie I was ever taken to was the original Star Wars back in 1977. Granted, I was 2 and I don't remember much about seeing it the first time, but that really started my geekdom forming, so since then I've been there for pretty much every geeky or nerdy thing since the late 70's. So yeah, my geek/nerd credentials are in good order, and I'm High Level. I've unlocked specializations and spent many bonus talent points. Basically, I'm close to Level Cap when it comes to geek/nerd-dom. Willow isn't nearly as high level as me because she came into being a nerd much later in her life. She didn't start reading fantasy or sci-fi as a teen like a lot of us did, she didn't grow up LOVING the Orginal Trilogy the same way many nerds did. But she is genuinely into nerdy/geeky things, and I'm doing my best to help her learn as much about geeky/nerdy things as she wants to. I'm helping her to level up.

According to the type of guys who are freaking out about the Rogue One trailer, I'm a traitor. I'm helping a GIRL get into the clubhouse. And my answer to them is simply... You're goddamn right I am. Guys, just learn to deal with it. Girls are part of fandom. They are part of gaming culture, they are part of fantasy, they are part of sci-fi. They're coming to the cons, they're buying the limited editions, they're standing in line to hear a panel in Hall H at San Diego Comic Con. They've already bought their tickets for Suicide Squad, and they'll be damn sure to get in line early for Captain America: Civil War. They're going out cosplaying and not just in the skimpy costumes that give you funny feelings in the bathing suit area. Women are in nerddom and geekdom now, guys. And you know what? That's awesome. Because I actually remember the days when nerd stuff was largely a male subculture. It was me and a bunch pf my other nerdy guy friends sitting around the table playing D&D. We couldn't get girls into playing D&D, they didn't give a shit about The X-Men, they wouldn't be caught dead at a screening of Empire Strikes Back. There were exceptions of course, but back when I was growing up nerd, girls were VERY few and far between. Nowadays, a LOT more girls are getting into the nerdy stuff, or maybe they're just coming out of the nerd closet, so to speak.

I don't know, and to be honest, I don't care. I think it's great that women are here. Really, I love the fact that last night at dinner, in the course of conversation with a couple of our friends Willow glared balefully at me and said "We are GOING to see the Warcraft movie when it comes out!" in a tone that allowed for NO dissent whatsoever. When I was 17 or so, a girl like Willow, an attractive girl who was into nerdy things that was DEMANDING that I take her to see a movie based on a video game? I thought that was a mythical creature!

I just don't get how these gamergate, and Men's Rights idiots can be so against women joining us in our hobby. I mean, don't you want Star Wars: Episode 8 to be a date night? Don't you want to spend your saturday wandering around a comic con in costume with your special lady? Don't you WANT to be with someone who can walk past a jewlery store with barely a second look, but when she walks past a weapons vendor shrieks "Oh look at all the PRETTIES!!!" and claps excitedly at the idea of that replica of Frostmourne hanging on your living room wall. Wouldn't you like to be with some who demands that you continue binge-watching Supernatural on Netflix while you eat dinner? Oh wait, that's MY relationship again. But if you read that and think "Well screw THAT guy. Lucky bastard!" Maybe you should pause for a second and think about what that means. Just an idea.

Carry on Smartly, My Friends.

Calm Down, Boys, It's Perfectly OK to Let Girls Into the Clubhouse...

Yesterday morning, the first trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story was released. If you haven't already seen it, you can see it HERE. The fan reaction was swift, and most of it was in the territory of "YAAASSSS!!" Myself included. I watched that 2 minutes of footage and the grin just would not leave my face for a good hour afterwards. If we can judge from the trailer, Rogue One is going to be an awesome movie. It looks to me like we can look forward to a grittier movie than anything that we've seen before. Rogue One looks like it will be more of a Dirty Dozen in the Star Wars Universe. After my very positive experience with The Force Awakens, I was already excited to see Rogue One. Now that I've seen a trailer, I'm really chomping at the bit for December to arrive.

Of course, nothing good lasts forever, and in this case it didn't take long at all before the euphoria I felt from the trailer was tainted. In less than a day, the backlash started. The backlash coming from idiotic, small-minded jackasses who for whatever reason are absolutely FURIOUS at another damn GIRL coming to play in their beloved Star Wars Universe. I mean, seriously, I thought we'd gotten this all out of our systems last year when people were bitching about Rey in TFA. Of course, I should have remembered the wise words of Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch: "You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity."

Don't get me wrong, I do have some sympathy for the "No Girls Allowed" attitude. I used to have it myself. Then, I left Elementary School and realized that girls are actually pretty damn awesome. The trailer wasn't even out for a DAY when it started. "Oh, man! ANOTHER Female-led Star Wars movie!" "WHAT?! ANOTHER female main character?! WTF?!" and the one that made me start banging my head on the desk, "Man, Han Solo will probably be a woman in that spinoff!"

Actually, that would be fantastic. Han Solo started out as a woman and became a man. Making him THE GREATEST TRANSGENDER CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF THE GALAXY! Ok, so that's really not likely. But you know what? There's also going to be a Boba Fett movie, and we've never seen underneath that armor. And we all know what happened the last time we had a "Greatest Bounty Hunter Ever" who was completely encased in armor, don't we? Two words: Samus Aran. Two more words: Justin Bailey. hehe.

Honestly, I don't get the hoopla about strong female characters in general, but I really don't get it when it comes to Star Wars. I mean, it's not like we've never had a strong female character in the SW universe before. Let's run a list, and yes, I'm going to dip into the Expanded Universe here, Rey, Leia, Mara Jade, Maz Kanata, Shada Dukal, Shalla Nelprin, Dia Passik, Mon Mothma who's also in Rogue One and who, oh I don't know, only LEADS THE WHOLE FREAKIN' REBELLION!

Seriously, boys, come out of the clubhouse. Click off of PornHub, put down your Boris Vallejo calendars and your Rob Liefeld comics. Women are SO Much more than damsels in distress and sex objects. A strong, capable woman is SO much more attractive than a vapid, bubble-headed Damsel in Distress. Honestly, a Real Man should not have anything to fear from a strong woman. Strong Women help make us strong, and they add so much more to a life than one who just needs to be rescued. Bascially, I think it's best summed up in this picture I saw online awhile back that I really want to blow up to full poster size...

Trust me guys. Give that a try. You'll ultimately be glad you did. Well, that is if you can get your head out of your ass and can join the rest of us in adulting.

Carry on Smartly, my Friends.